Did you know that the universe has several trillion stars? And most of those stars have planets. So, it makes sense we’re not the only ones out there. And we aren't.
Exactly 3,141,592 light years from Earth is the planet of PIEPYTHPHI. It’s the 128th planet in a solar system with 271 planets (WOW 271 IS A LOT OF PLANETS FOR A SOLAR SYSTEM THAT IS ONE BIG WHOPPER OF A STAR). It’s made of MATH! Lots of it. The mountains are square roots and the seas are standard deviations.
Everyone on the planet is made of numbers… except two of them. They are made of flesh and bone, well, because they’re from Earth! And, they want to explore the statue made of courage, the only thing on the entire planet that isn’t made of anything related to math.
But what’s special is the nose. Inside of this particular schnozzle is a very luxurious hotel room that anyone can use and requires no payment. But, how do you get inside? The room is 3,000 feet off the ground. Well, what you do is kick the base of the statue to access a very fast moving staircase into the room but the two explorers from Earth didn’t know this so they tied themselves to one another in rope and tried to hug the statue to hoist themselves upwards.
However, when they were a hundred feet up, one of the explorers accidentally kicked off his shoe with such force that it was flung all the way around the planet and it came back and it kicked the base and then suddenly, the staircase opened up. But the explorers only felt the wall move to make the entrance to the stairs, because the wall has to move away from the entrance in order to make it wide enough to be able to go through. However, they neither saw or heard it. So they stopped and one said to the other, “Hey, I think I broke my all-time record for my highest climb by a millimeter. Let’s keep going.” But they soon realized that trying to climb 3,000 vertical feet was NOT easy.
The only option they had was to move very carefully to the right to get to the opening. Right when they were about to reach the stairs, however, the explorer with one shoe accidentally kicked off the other shoe, and it, like its predecessor, zoomed a full circle about the planet, but this time, a gust of wind blew it upward and hit the now shoeless explorer right in the back. He yelled with agony, said “WHY DOES EVERYTHING HAVE TO HAPPEN TO ME??” and, unable to think through the pain in his back, released his grip on the statue. The second explorer was only able to hang on to the smooth surface a mere second before he was pulled off by the falling explorer, and then both of them plummeted 400 feet (they had climbed 300 more feet since the explorer had lost his first shoe) onto the soft grass (lucky they didn’t die, but can math kill you?). They both got back up, groaning and wincing, and tried to climb the staircase, after all, it was easier. But when they finally got to the top, they found that the door was locked.
So, they climbed back outside, carefully stood on the nose, and jackhammered into the room. And, it was after all this that they finally got the hotel room and were able to enjoy the rest that they deserved.
