Show, don’t Tell (by William)

Show "I was shy" but don't tell directly.  I hid behind my mom and the librarian flashed a smile but I would not budge.

Show "I was surprised."  My mouth dropped open, I froze in my tracks, my hand shot up, and I jumped on the sofa. 

Show "I was sad."  My face turned into a frown and my tears flowed like rivers.

Show "I was sick."  I was coughing constantly and I drifted off to sleep. 

Visiting Tropical Reefs in the Aquarium (by William)

One time I went to the aquarium with my dad and my cousin Hansen.  

We walked into an exhibit called Tropical Reefs.  When I walked in I saw huge tanks about three men tall and colorful fish zooming around which reminded me of the cars of the city.  Just then, a sting ray dove down to eat the fish and the blue tang swam away very quickly and I couldn’t study more about it. 

Then a diver came and he brought another blue tang near the window of the tank and I got to study more about the blue tang.  I felt so excited that I said “the Tropical Reefs are so cool!”  “Yes they are,” replied my dad.  “Indeed” my cousin added to the conversation.  My mind raced trying to think what would happen if tropical reefs were destroyed.  “Wow, tropical reefs are an important part of the earth,” I said.

Out of the corner of my eye I spotted a group of fish surrounding something.  I couldn’t see what it was, so I hatched a plan.  It was a crazy idea and I don’t think the fish like it, but I did it.  Bonk!  Bonk!  Bonk!  I knocked on the glass of the tank and the fish swam away and I saw some coral.  

I strode around to enjoy the sights of coral and fish.  Suddenly I spotted a blue tang and I followed it.  Soon it paused at some coral to eat polyps.  I started to study the blue tang.  A blue tang is blue with a black and yellow tail.  The blue tang was flat as a pancake.  Suddenly, I stopped in front of a sign, it introduced me to all sorts of coral and facts that people can ruin coral reefs.  It also taught me that big boats may chunk off big pieces of coral.

After a few minutes, it was time to leave.  I had a lot of fun in the Tropical Reefs exhibit.

First Time I Went on an Airplane - Describe an Experience with Fear (by William)

Have you ever went on an airplane?  Let me tell you my experience on an airplane. 

One early morning, my mom announced that we were going to Taiwan.  I jumped out of bed, threw on an outfit, and started packing.  I threw in some outfits, pajamas, water bottle, books, tour guide, and maps.

As my dad pulled into the airport, my palms started to sweat, and a shiver went through my spine.  I knew exactly why my mind was controlling those weird actions and that was because I was going to throw up in the airplane.

As we walked into the airport, I noticed a big waiting room.  I asked my mom “are we going in there?”  “Yes,” she replied.  When we first walked into the room, I noticed a monitor revealing the airline’s name: Eva Air. 

When we actually stepped into the plane, a chill pounded through my spine, my heart started to beat wildly, and my palms started to sweat even harder. 

Just then I heard the pilot’s announcement.  “Ladies and Gentlemen, please buckle your seatbelts.  We are taking off in one minute.”  I buckled my seatbelt.  “Roar” went the plane’s engine.  I squeezed my mom’s hand.  “William!  Why are you breaking my fingers?” Screamed my mom.  “I am scared of this plane ride!”  I explained.  I couldn’t hold my feeling so I screamed “Mom!” I felt something strange in my body and I looked around for a parachute, but there was not even one.  “Too late,” I moaned. 

The plane was already flying in the stratosphere.  I finally got to sit back and watched a movie, eat, brush my teeth, and go to sleep.  Everything was good until I woke up.  I sighed and looked where the plane was, right over Japan. 

The plane ride was better than I expected, and we safely landed in Taiwan.

***Author's notes***

The story may start in different ways -

Ask a Question

Have you went on a plane before? Let me tell you my experience on the airplane.

Sound Effect

“Roar!” Went the plane’s engine and the body of the plane started to shake.  I was sitting on a chair, buckled up, my stomach did a cartwheel when the plane took off.

Dialogue
“Calm down, you are breaking my fingers!”  Shouted my mom.  “Mom, I am so nervous and nauseous, the plane is shaking so hard” I said.  

Create effective story endings - 

Reflection

Some years even now, I remember the first time I went on an airplane.

Dialogue

“Mom” I said, “the plane ride wasn’t so scary,” and I meant it.

Thoughts

I was nervous on the outside but I felt a surge of triumph inside.